Min Padgea had sat cross-legged in Kung Po Church for a decade and a half, in protest at the government's banning of pencil cases in schools. He had attracted a loyal horde of fans, some of whom were barely born when he commenced his ordeal.
Yet at 7.06pm last night, Padgea exploded, sending over 2000 inch-long pins hurtling towards anyone in the immediate vicinity.
Eleven people were killed instantly, while another three were cured of ills when the pins miraculously hit acupuncture-friendly spots.
Local detective Chow Yun Phat told us: "This is a terrible, terrible incident for those who died and also very mysterious. Our anagram expert Ram Gana has realised, however, that Min's name can be rearranged to spell 'pin damage'. A lot of people are kicking themselves in our office, let me tell you."